


Bad booze and Worse Decisions: A Han Moriarty and Slave Sebastian Story

by fabricdragon



Series: How Moriarty Met Moran [17]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Costume Parties & Masquerades, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossdressing, Developing Relationship, Genderbending, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slave Leia, Star Wars References, Tags May Change, do not copy to any other site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:01:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22200718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: (Story Inspired by  a gender swapped image (see links in notes) of cosplayers dressed up as (F) Han Solo and (M) Slave Princess Leia...)Sebastian Moran thought it would be funny to get some "joke" costumes (in addition to the real ones) to escort Moriarty's accountant to a party...ha?uh oh...NOTE: this is not an AU, it is a costume party- but  the Star Wars fandom is involved.
Relationships: Sebastian Moran & Jim Moriarty, Sebastian Moran/Jim Moriarty
Series: How Moriarty Met Moran [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1069010
Comments: 39
Kudos: 29





	1. Booze, an inappropriate sense of humor, and insufficient intel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InnerSpectrum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnerSpectrum/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin: booze, bad decisions, and insufficient intel.  
> Sebastian has a bright idea for a joke...  
> The jokes on him.

There were several things that had led up to this disaster, Sebastian decided: booze, an inappropriate sense of humor, and insufficient intel. Nearly the same things that had gotten him discharged if he was honest… although that also involved cards and the daughter of a person he hadn't known was that influential…

Which brought him back to the bad intel.

He was, he had to admit, drinking (again) when his boss called him up and handed him a job. He was told to go pick up costumes because he was going to be taking one of Moriarty’s accountants in to meet with someone, and the meeting was at a costume party. He didn’t protest, because the LAST time he protested work that was beneath him like this his boss told him he could just not get any work at all…

_sigh._

He’d signed up with Mister Moriarty’s organization after his discharge expecting to be tested, but mostly he’d been playing low level muscle and running errands, and he was bored. Here he was, best damn sniper in Her Majesty’s service- had been in Her service- and a damn good all around combatant… and the most exciting assignment so far was taking an accountant to a costume party.

So he’d decided to poke some fun at the accountant, and blow off a bit of harmless steam…

…

He was beginning to get that edgy feeling of crosshairs on the back of his head when he got to the ‘accountant’s building’.

It got worse when he walked in to meet the accountant at his flat- the name plate downstairs said Jim Dougherty and had a bunch of initials after it that he assumed were accountantcy ranks or something. 

Once he was buzzed in he started wondering just how many of Mister Moriarty’s books the man handled, because the entire place screamed money.

The accountant- average height, casually dressed, fit but not overly so- walked into the living room, frowning.“Those boxes are not from the costume shop you were told to go to.”

 _Well, no, THAT box was in the boot of the car_. Sebastian foolishly ignored the warning bells going off in his mind and went on with the joke, “Those were boring! I got a much better set of costumes!”

Flatly, “you did.”

Sebastian’s smile faltered a bit and he put the boxes down…

The man opened up the first box and took out the fake gun on top, he looked like it might look familiar at least, and then he looked at the rest of the costume with a frown, “What’s this?”

“Ah… Han Solo? From-”

“Star Wars, yes?” his voice had regained some inflection at least and he looked more puzzled than annoyed now. 

“That would be my costume- lots of places to hide weapons.” Sebastian had intended to say it cheerfully and then watch the man freak out when he saw ‘his’ costume, but that ‘very bad feeling’ was now no longer knocking on the back of his head…

It was leaning on the wall sighing and waiting for the write up or demotion.

So Sebastian couldn't help the wince as Mister Dougherty opened the second box and the accountant’s eyebrows climbed ceiling-ward..

“If you were expecting to escort a woman…” His voice sounded flat again.

“Ah… no…?”

He held up the gold collar on his finger- the chain dangling off of it into the box- “Tell me, Moran, just what EXACTLY were you thinking?” 

Damned if he didn't sound like half of Sebastian’s former Superior Officers right now.

Sebastian tried not to cringe, or shuffle his feet, “It… was just a joke…”

“A joke?”

“Yeah… uh… I thought it was funny…” Sebastian couldn't figure out why he was getting such outright dangerous feelings about this, but he figured he would put a stop to it right now, since the joke had obviously fallen flat.

“The real costumes are in the boot of my car; I’ll just go-”

His escort held up a hand and Sebastian found himself cutting his words short… 

He stood there looking Sebastian up and down in a casually assessing sort of way that frankly was sending shivers down his spine- and he wasn't sure if that was in a good way or not.

Then he smiled and Sebastian could all but hear the ‘click’ of an explosive triggering under the wrong footstep. Sebastian held very still and tried again: “I’ll just go get the real costumes out of the boot… ah… sir?” he added because this wasn't what he had thought at ALL and this guy clearly outranked him.

“Not at all: These will do quite well.” the smile got a bit broader and just a bit sharper and all the combat senses Sebastian HAD were suddenly screaming into overdrive and the last of the alcohol burned off and traitorously fled..

He dropped the collar off his finger back into the open box, and picked up the first box, the one with the Han Solo costume. “Do get changed, Moran, we don't have all day.” and he started to walk away with the Han Solo box…

Sebastian slowly started to edge toward the door to get the real costumes.

“Just where are you going, Moran?” His voice was smooth and friendly sounding and Sebastian suddenly had an image of scales sliding over sand.

“To… uh… get the real costumes…?”

“YOUR costume is sitting right there in that box, I believe.”

“What?!”

The man just stared at him with those unreadable dark eyes.

“Ha…? Good joke? I’ll just-”

“Step foot out of this apartment without me and you won't live to get to your car, Moran: now get dressed.”


	2. Not only no, but HELL no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The joke continues to backfire spectacularly: arguments ensue....

Sebastian stood there in shock and watched the man walk into another room with the Han Solo costume and close the door.

He looked back at the second costume box- gold collar prominently on top- and then looked at the door.

 _Is he serious?_ The sensible portion of Sebastian’s mind that had been trying to stop this train wreck considered the way the ‘accountant’ carried himself, the casual threat, the smile that looked sharp enough to cut his throat…and decided the odds were not in his favor.

“Never tell me the odds” Sebastian muttered to himself and poked dubiously at the Slave Leia costume.

“I don’t hear you getting dressed!” a sharp voice called in from the other room.

_Right… it's a joke… I tried to pull one on him and… he wants to embarrass me, so… I'll just put this on, he’ll laugh, and then I can change…_

Sebastian winced and put the outfit on.

 _Thank GOD it came with the dance belt_...Sebastian was trying to get the ‘bra top’ to fit when he realized his escort had opened the door. He turned to see a smirking Han Solo leaning on the door frame.

“Nice… but you can lose the bra top it spoils your lines.” 

Sebastian was fairly certain that Han Solo wasn't supposed to look that possessive and... _well at least i look good_ . He got the accursed top off and looked up to find the accountant somehow a LOT closer… he could move very quietly when he wanted to, _or maybe i was just making that much noise fighting with this outfit._

Mister Dougherty picked the collar off the table with one finger and held it out, “You left off part of the costume, Moran: I said you could skip the bikini top.”

“Look, fair’s fair: I tried a prank, it was JUST a prank, the real costumes are in the car-”

“You were yanking my chain: here’s yours.” he dropped the collar, folded his arms and looked up at Sebastian with a glint in his eye.

Sebastian glared at the man, but he just raised an eyebrow. “To quote an entirely different movie, Moran: ‘you are in a position unsuitable to give orders’.”

Sebastian’s hands curled into fists but the man’s entire posture read… like he probably had Moriarty on speed dial- _fuck_. He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth, “I wasn't going to actually try to make you wear it, you know: any of it…” he picked up the collar and looked back at the man. When he just glanced at the wall clock pointedly Sebastian put the damn thing on.

“There, happy?”

“Delighted.”

“Good, now can i take this off and go get the real costumes? I already won't get the return cash on this since it was unpacked.”

“You were planning on returning it? But why… it's such a good look on you.”

“Ha, bloody ha. You had your fun, now-” Sebastian cut off as the accountant casually picked up the end of the chain.

“The car will be waiting.” he said casually and tried to lead him off on the chain.

It was vaguely irritating to feel the collar yank on his neck, but satisfying to watch the man hit the end of the chain length and jerk to a stop when Sebastian didn't move. “No way in HELL am i going out in this.”

He turned and leveled a killer stare at Sebastian, but before he could open his mouth Sebastian set his feet and crossed his arms- he did notice the man’s slight distraction staring at his chest.

“Great, you didn't like my sense of humor- you can join every commanding officer I ever had- and yeah, it was in bad taste, but I’ve been bored and put down by this organization since i joined.” Sebastian glared back at the man on the other end of the chain, “I’m one of the best at what I do, when I'm allowed to do it, and… that’s it! I’m not putting up with this shit anymore. I let you have your laugh, now I'm either going to get to actually do some meaningful work? Or I quit.”

“No one quits Moriarty’s employment, Moran; you _do_ know that.”

“Then I’ll have a fun time hunting down his killers, because if he treats the rest of them the way I’ve been treated it will be the most fun they’ve had in years!” Sebastian snarled, still setting his feet against any attempt to yank on his chain- literally.

A corner of the man’s mouth slowly quirked up, “That bad, huh?”

Sebastian just glared at him.

Dougherty slowly brought his hand up, the one with the chain held in it and stood contemplating it for a moment, then looked over it at Sebastian. “I was- am- your first real assignment, Moran: guarding me tonight.”

Sebastian had to concede that the oddly dangerous accountant might possibly have a point there. “Alright, so you were going to be actual work: how can I be a bodyguard in THIS outfit, hmm? Hell, the only reason i spent the money on these costumes was that I was going to get the money back when i returned them unused: I've been making the base retainer- not the kind of money I was promised…" he narrowed his eyes, “I suppose you had something to do with that Mister oh-so-important accountant?”

He coiled the chain up- since Sebastian didn't move, he did. “I had something to do with it,” he nodded, “But mostly there were some issues with your security check, and you couldn't be allowed anywhere near secured information: to be perfectly honest you SHOULD have just been shot...because it still looks a lot like you are a spy.”

Sebastian laughed weakly, “Me? If i could get a job as a spy… wait, you think they trumped this whole fucking mess up just to…” he trailed off, “huh… well they didn't… I mean not with me… but yeah, i guess they would want to get someone into this organization if Moriarty is half as influential as the rumors…”

The accountant smiled up at him, still with the chain wrapped around his fist. “Precisely, Moran: they most certainly WOULD trump up this whole mess if it got you into Mister Moriarty’s service… especially someone as skilled as you are supposed to be.”

“I AM skilled, and if it was trumped up they neglected to tell me... or pay me for it!” Sebastian took a deep breath and let his hands fall back to his sides. “So you were the first real job… what now?”

“Part of why i was your first real job- despite the questions about you being a spy- is because Mister Moriarty trusts my judgement about people…”

“I have a lousy sense of humor, apparently poor judgement for anything except combat, and every commanding officer i ever had can tell you i’m insubordinate as hell- so?”

Unexpectedly the man laughed. “Well… your record says you were insubordinate as hell… sometimes, but not always… and your judgement about your sense of humor is VERY questionable…” he smirked, “But I'm beginning to be convinced that your records are genuine and you aren’t a spy, at least in part because no spy would jeopardize his chances like this.”

Sebastian was standing far too close to the man, and the edge of danger was kicking his libido up as it did: he took a deep breath and tried to force his mind back on topic. “So? Do I get to actually do any meaningful work?”

“You get to escort me to what is very likely to be an appallingly boring costume party while I finish my assessment of you.”

“Then I'll need to change and-”

“No.”

Sebastian stared at the man in disbelief, “ok, i give up: what the HELL?”

“As it happens the hostess of this little party will think you, in that outfit, look positively edible, and the contact i am rapdly growing tired of is homophobic and will be uncomfortable,” he pulled just slightly on the chain and then let it go slack, “And i admit to having been a bit bored these past few weeks myself…”

“You… want me… to go to a costume party AS YOUR GUARD… dressed like this?”

He just smirked and nodded.

“If, and that's a BIG if, I do go along with this lunacy, will I actually get some real work?” 

“If i say you’re cleared?” he chuckled, “ then yes, you will get some real work: there’s an assassination job that would make very good use of your talents coming up.”

“So I let you drag me to this party in THIS get up… as pay back for my prank… and i stop being put on boring shit detail…” he brought a hand up and dragged it down his face, “this is ridiculous.”

“Well, I admit I have an ulterior motive here as well as enjoying the chaos this will cause at the party…”

“And that is?”

“You do look delicious in that outfit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dance belt: a dance belt is something like a jock strap, it is a support for male genitalia under tights or a spandex costume that both creates a smooth line (instead of permitting an exact outline to show) and protects the genitalia -especially the testicals- from being crushed between the thighs in dance or athletic moves. Unlike a jock strap it is designed with a thong back for wear under skin tight garments.
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dance_belt  
> http://www.dancebelt.info/17165091C1D94631B10E/the-complete-guide-to-dance.html
> 
> Quote from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom “you are in a position unsuitable to give orders”  
> https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/6da68e79-ce81-47ca-9588-303ef1e93365


	3. Meat To The Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Jim get to the party...

“I don't believe I let you talk me into this.” Sebastian muttered- more to himself than anything.

“Well, you could have tried to walk out on your own,” Mister Dougherty said with a smile, “Moriarty’s snipers haven't had a workout in a while.”

Sebastian grumbled and stared out of the car windows, thanking every power in existence they were tinted a probably illegal amount. Just the look the driver gave him as they got into the car had made Sebastian regret ever agreeing to this…

_And there was going to be a whole party full of people…_

“Shoulda taken my chances with the snipers,” Sebastian grumbled.

“That would have been a waste,” He said without looking up from his phone.

After they’d been driving a while Sebastian sighed, “Mister Dougherty…”

“Hmm?”

“Look, how do you want me to play this?”

He looked up- trailed his eyes appreciatively over Sebastian and then asked, “What do you mean?”

“Am I publicly playing bodyguard? Or eye candy? Or boytoy? Or what?”

He gave a very small smile, “Can you act like my boytoy?”

Sebastian looked the man over, “maybe? Might work better if I play the slightly gold digging, not as bright as I think I am, jock fuck boy…”

Sebastian at least felt like he was being taken seriously as the man raised an eyebrow and sat up a bit, “well… you ARE quite decorative… although those scars don’t make you look…”

“Decorative enough,” Sebastian winced. _Another reason to hate this outfit: it put all my scars on display._

“I was going to say harmless,” he reached a hand out and drew a finger over one of Sebastian's scars- Sebastian shivered a bit- “Personally I think they add to the attractiveness- the aura of danger, I suppose?” he shrugged, “If you think you can pull it off? Certainly…gold digging eye candy.”

It made him feel a bit better to have him say that… even if he wasn't sure what to think of the man touching him that way. “If anyone asks I was military, but… just a grunt, not the elite forces,” Sebastian waved somewhat self consciously, “shrapnel scars are distinctive if anyone knows what they’re looking at.”

“If you’re my personal.. Pet…” -he made it sound like an invitation and a threat at the same time- “ then do call me Jim, at least some of the time.”

“Somehow-” Sebastian bit off the reply.

“Somehow?” the man’s arched eyebrow conveyed more of a demand to answer than Sebastian’s court martial had.

Sebastian licked his lips and swallowed, “You ah… seem more like a Mister, or a Sir, than a ‘Jim’ somehow.”

He sat back against the seat and looked pleased, “well now, see? You do have some sense hiding under there… but it's all a role for the party: they know i’m highly placed in Mister Moriarty’s organization, but they don't know HOW highly placed.”

Sebastian tried to keep still and quiet for the rest of the ride. He occupied himself by going over the facts that he had:

_James Dougherty was armed, and judging from body language he knew how to use those weapons._

_He carried himself with a terrifying level of self confidence- right up until he put on the act for the party._

_He clearly expected to be able to take me on, by authority if not by combat skills._

_He admitted he had final say on whether I got cleared or not- and as was already stated: no one left Moriarty’s organization, which meant I passed his security review, or I was going to be ducking a bullet for as long as I could._

To that Sebastian added the personal observations:

_Jim was gay- or at least very interested in men._

_Jim looked like he was going to have a Sebastian steak for dinner._

_He definitely liked me on a leash._

_It was oddly… attractive._

That last bit worried him. 

Sebastian was bisexual- he usually preferred women, but men were fine if they were interesting-and he wasn't going to be ashamed of it; his family had far worse things to throw in his face if he ever saw them again. He’d never done anything involving collars or… _I know people play with stuff like this for fun, but something tells me this guy isn't PLAYING…_

It was even a bit of a let down when just before they got there ‘Jim’ handed him the end of the leash he’d been holding this whole time. 

“I’ll only be picking that up after i’ve apparently had a few drinks, or I’m obviously playing with you- it wouldn't suit my persona.”

It made it even more obvious, somehow, that he was about to walk out in public in… this… to not have the man holding the chain; like he was ungrounded somehow: he shook himself out of it as they got out at the party. He tried to act like being on a leash in a glorified loincloth was… exciting? _Yeah, exciting, instead of mortifying_ , he let his eyes widen a bit and relaxed his jaw.

He had it on good authority that it made him look a good bit stupider, or at least shallow and vapid: light colored eyes had that kind of reputation anyway.

He didn't see how anyone bought into Mister Dougherty being just a MINOR player, though…

Admittedly… he wasn't walking the same way…

And he held himself differently…

And when he smiled over at Sebastian and introduced his ‘Boyfriend David’ his voice was lighter, softer…

Sebastian had to stop the double-take because he was GOOD at that: he was suddenly convincingly harmless..

‘Jim’ even gave him an out for the costume pretty fast…

“Oh,” Jim almost giggled, “David lost a bet! He should have known never to bet on number based games against an accountant!”

Sebastian picked it up as smoothly as he could, “I was going to be a Wookie…”

“Oh wouldn't THAT have been a shame,” a woman’s voice- predatory and posh and that entitled possessive tone that set Sebastian’s teeth on edge: he VERY carefully held his jaw loose and his eyes wide.

A woman who clearly had a lot of money and only a moderate amount of taste came up and… _so that was their hostess , huh?_ Oh, right: Mister Dougherty had said she would think he was ‘edible’. Unfortunately she also appeared to be handsy as fuck.

She didn't STOP being handsy as fuck when Jim introduced him as “my boyfriend Dave.” she just added commentary about what a lucky man Jim was…

“I bet he’s just an utter lion in bed!” the bitch purred and then started chatting Jim up about a threesome.

Sebastian started plotting murder and escape routes.

Eventually Jim took the chain Sebastian was gripping - to keep from doing anything he wouldn't regret in the slightest later- and walked them both off to the buffet table.

“Get me out of here,” Sebastian said past his fixed smile, “or I strangle YOU with this chain after I strangle Jabbina the Hutt there.”

He actually stumbled faintly and Sebastian thought he might have finally unnerved the man, but instead he was just trying to not laugh.

“If you want to throttle her I’m afraid you will have to wait until business is over with- not your type?” he sounded amused- and curious.

“Entitled pushy obnoxious-” he forced his jaw to relax, “no, not my type.”

“Then you definitely won’t like my contact- that’s alright I despise him and am just waiting for him to outlive his usefulness.”

“THEN can I strangle Jabbina the Hutt?” he grumbled as quietly as he could manage.

Jim just smirked and handed him a plate of food.

The food helped a little- settled THAT point of distraction anyway. _Get yourself pulled together,_ Sebastian told himself, _you’re a bodyguard… assess the threats!_ The only problem was a lot of people were reading as ‘threat’ right now because they either wanted to paw Sebastian, or they were homophobic and unhappy- which meant it was damned hard to read the crowd. He told Jim that in between socializing.

“Hmm, true,” then he cocked his head, “Ah, my contact has finally decided he can’t avoid it anymore...”

Sebastian did his best to look like a gold-digging jock boyfriend while the fellow acted like an ass. The second time he made veiled hints that Sebastian should get lost, Sebastian couldn't stop himself- he put his arm around Jim.

“Sweetheart,” he did everything but bat his eyes at him, “Would you like me to go get you another plate of food?”

He saw the corner of Jim’s mouth quirk up and a flash of mischief cracked his facade just for a moment, then he leaned into Sebastian’s chest and said, “That would be lovely, darling,” and kissed him quickly on the jaw.

The important contact looked disgusted and backed up a step as Sebastian turned to ask him, “can I get you anything?”

“NO!, no no… that's… fine…”

Sebastian made a point of swinging his hips a bit as he made his way over to the buffet and back- if he HAD to wear this damned outfit at least he could have some fun in it.

That apparently recaptured the attention of their hostess… and a few other women… and a few other men… and completely appalled several more guests.

Jim was outright smirking by the time he got back. “You’re a very naughty slave girl, David.”

Sebastian grinned, “no, I'm a very naughty slave boy...but I thought you knew that?”

Jim burst out laughing, “true- quite insubordinate.”

The homophobic contact fled.

“I hope you were done?” Sebastian said taking a bite out of the only decent meat he’d found on the buffet table.

“Yes…I’m done… with HIM anyway.” Jim looked amused up at him, and somehow pulled the morsel of food he had off the fork with his tongue.

That dance belt had been tight before; now it was worse. 

“I… never mix personal business and professional work…”

Jim shrugged faintly, “I think everything I do has connections to my business, so I don't have much choice.” then he grinned, “Why, thinking of a bit of pleasure after the business?”

“Despite my instincts telling me it’s a very bad idea? It had occurred to me, but…” he shrugged, “not until you’re done with any evaluation- because damned if i’m being evaluated for THAT.”

“You are a very very naughty boy,” Jim chuckled, apparently trying to keep his harmless look in place, “because I’m having to hold back SO many comments.”

“Right, so can we get out of here… and get me back into real clothes and… honestly I’m going crazy being this unarmed.”

Jim took hold of the leash and let it slide through his hands in a VERY suggestive fashion. “Sure, I just have to make my farewells…”

It took way too long for him to ‘make his farewells’, playing with the leash the entire time...


	4. Isn’t that what it’s for?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the costume is used as God and Lucas intended.

By the time they got out to the car Jim’s harmless facade was cracking enough to see the darkly charismatic man underneath… and although he was fairly certain the way he was sliding his hands over the chain was no worse than it had been before… it seemed far more distracting.

Sebastian was trying to convince ‘little Seb’ to settle down: _God knows I’ve gotten in enough trouble thinking with my dick._

The driver once again gave Sebastian a look of… well it managed to look like disapproval and dismissal all in one. Sebastian had this strong urge to punch the guy- or at least grab him and snarl about how idiot boy toys don't make it into the SAS - but he kept his temper as best as he could manage and followed Jim into the car.

“Your driver is an ass.” he grumbled quietly once they were settled and the car pulled out into traffic.

“He was being a bit rude about you,” Jim admitted, “but I rarely take… decorative men.”

Sebastian grumped a bit but was inwardly a bit pleased to be thought of as decorative… then he started wondering how Jim got under his skin so fast.

Jim was working on his phone- still idly running his off hand up and down the chain sometimes in a VERY erotic fashion- and Sebastian was trying hard to not be distracted, so he was looking out the window…

“Sir…” Sebastian spoke softly and tapped Jim’s leg. “We’re being followed, and… this is a very odd route to go back…”

Jim frowned, looked up and out the window, and his frown deepened: he touched a few controls that had been concealed and the barrier between the front and back dropped, “Problem, Jeremy?”

“No problem at all, Mister Dougherty: some people just want to have a chat with you about Mister Moriarty, so sit back and cooperate and you won’t get hurt.”

Jim was muttering, “oh, you have GOT to be kidding!” When Sebastian pulled the leash free of Jim’s hand and lunged.

The chain on his collar was closer to a lightweight dog chain than the heavy chain from the movies, but it should be strong enough… He got it over the man’s neck and pulled him sideways and back, yanking him clear of the steering wheel before he could react.

Jim proved to have excellent reflexes and went over the seat back and helped shove the man out of the way. Sebastian concentrated on keeping him occupied, and got the chain wrapped around one of his hands as well. He was still fighting with him- the man thrashing and gurgling and clawing at the leash- when the car turned sharply and threw them both over to the side.

“Knock him out, tie him up, or kill him,” Jim snapped, “And get his weapons- I’m trying to lose the chase car!”

The driver must have heard that because he redoubled his efforts to get loose and the mostly decorative chain was never meant for this!

Jim jerked the wheel and they both were thrown toward the driver’s side.

He jerked it the other way and they were thrown back against the door.

“Get clear!” Jim’s voice was pure command and Sebastian pulled his hands back and glanced over… just in time to see Jim shoot the man.

The sound was certainly loud in the car, but thankfully the gun had a silencer on it and he wasn't deafened. Sebastian gave up on untangling the chain and unclipped it from his collar. The man wasn't dead, but he would be soon: Jim handed him the sidearm… when Sebastian pulled off the driver’s other weapons he realized Jim had gotten it off of him…

“Got it when you threw us around like that?” Sebastian asked as he braced himself against the seats and watched for any sign of pursuit.

“That’s WHY i threw you around like that,” Jim corrected. “We’ll need to lose this car, and i have to assume that Jeremy sold out anything he knew, which means my old flat is too hot- fuck! You have to drive, i need to scramble my computers.”

Sebastian hauled Jeremy into the back seat and then reached over Jim to get the steering wheel… he slid over and Sebastian dropped into the driver’s seat.

He couldn't help but grin, “Now THIS is more like it!”

Jim looked over at him with his mouth open, “Seriously? This is your idea of FUN?!”

Sebastian glanced over, “Yeah… actually… the only thing better would be if I had some serious weapons and more people to shoot at.” he looked back forward, “where to?”

Jim was shaking his head, but smiling faintly, “No wonder you were going stir crazy while we tried to check your security… next left.”

They pulled into a garage and changed cars- and left the body behind- and they changed cars again- and the LOOKS Sebastian got from the people at the hand off made him remember exactly what he wasn't wearing…

Jim just smirked at them and told Sebastian to drive.

“Ok, one amendment: this would be a lot more fun if i had CLOTHES and weapons.”

“Oh I don't know… it looks pretty good from here…”

Sebastian suddenly hesitated, “Uh… is there any chance of getting back to your flat?”

Jim blinked at him, “I’d planned on burning it down if anyone went-”

“Can i go and get some of my stuff?”

“I’ll buy you new clothes…”

“It’s not that… I.. had a couple items that are important to me… isn't there anything YOU want out of there?”

“Pull over.”

Sebastian did and Jim stared at him with an eerily blank expression…

After an eternity- or at least a minute- Jim started talking again: “You already passed your security review, and then some…”

“Ok?”

“Tell you what… if you can get back to the flat- without me, thanks- and retrieve something of mine, and bring it to me without being caught or followed? You don't just get the job you were promised; you get a promotion… much higher pay, a lot more dangerous, and-”

“You had me at higher pay and more dangerous,” Sebastian interjected.

“Then you take this,” Jim handed him a burner phone. “And let me out here. I’ll text you the things I want and where they are. You call the number in the phone for JD if you succeed and i tell you where to go.”

Sebastian nodded, “So it's set to burn? Is there a time limit?”

“In theory one of Moriarty’s agents was to set it off if the place gets raided by police or intelligence agents: I can set it off remotely as well.” he hesitated, “I’m calling the agent off… but you need to understand: if you’re in there and the place gets taken? I will set it off- some things can’t be allowed to fall into their hands.”

“Been there, done that, have the scorch marks from the air strike," Sebastian said cheerfully, “See you soon!”

Jim smiled, and it was a bemused and considerably more friendly smile, “I hope so… You’re a very strange man, but at least you aren’t boring.”

He got out of the car and Sebastian gestured him over to the window.

“Yes?” Jim leaned in slightly and Sebastian grinned…

“If we’re going to play Han Solo and Princess Leia… how about a kiss for luck?”

“That was Luke,” Jim said with an amused smirk and then he dug his fingers into the back of Sebastian’s head and kissed him…

No…

He pulled half his soul out through his lips and then let go.

“Come back with the items I'll text you, and you can consider that a deposit on your bonus.”

**Author's Note:**

> Original image  
> https://fabricdragondesigns.tumblr.com/post/190167449275/i-saw-this-image-being-passed-around-on-facebook
> 
> New image:  
> https://raivenne.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/star-mormor-wars.png?fbclid=IwAR13xslKH_cz2RF6n8FGiqjFLSBo7Yzj9oAyW6M6sbANMEAvtfZe7omZpGs
> 
> About the original (movie costume) with photos:  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Princess_Leia%27s_bikini
> 
> More about the costume with similar costumes worn in other movies:  
> https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Slave_Leia_costume


End file.
